My One and Only Love

I am learning that the Lord is my strength. Without the Lord I am nothing. I am starting to come into my skin. I am starting to love who I am and what I have. This doesn't mean I am trying to be complacent in my life, but to continue to strive to be the best me and more like Christ.
As a women, I go through my ups and downs about my looks, body size, and my moods, poor Nate. Lucky I have a husband who accepts me for me. Never in my life, have I had someone who accepts me for who I truly am. Nate knows who I am and still loves me. He often says that he learned who I "truly" am the day we got back from our honeymoon. I think that it took me so long to be "me" because in the past who I am or was had never been "good enough" or "right".
I am very thankful to be married to Nate. Our relationship isn't perfect, but it doesn't have to be. I heard a quote the other day that said, "Marriage isn't about marrying the 'perfect' person, but about being the perfect person". This quote is so true. There is no "ideal" relationship, besides "Adam and Eve's".
I just want to say this, "I love you Nate, through thick and thin. Thank you for being supportive, teaching me to relax, teaching me to laugh at life, and teaching me about me. I love you forever."

MOMMY ME

Parker had his 1st birthday. He is growing up so fast. He is adorable, but I am his mother. He is doing a bunch of new things and has lots of favorites. He loves:
1. Mommy: he is all about me, I can't even walk out of the room without him crying
2. Food: he always makes the "mmmmm" sound while eating
3. Being out and about; he loves people
4. "Yo Gabba, Gabba "
5. Balls (he got a bounce ball place house for Christmas)
6. Music (he dances every time music comes on)
7. He loves books
8. And loves DOGS
9. Sleep: I have him on a schedule and it works great for him and me.......
10. PAPA (he is all about my dad)
11. Walking around furniture (he isn't walking yet)
12. Being SOOOOOOO active (he will never be a FAT KID lol)

He is a wonderful kid. He is getting his 1 year old molars right now, and it is hurting him so bad. Poor kid, I can't imagine getting teeth. Ouch! I pray for this little one daily, for he is God's and I blessed to raise him. There is so much responsibility in being a parent, I mean so, so much. I need to be responsible in teaching him right from wrong, the ways of the Lord's, how to treat others, how to love, be graceful, be wise, and be truthful. I know he will not be perfect, but I know I am responsible for who he is (up to a point). I love being a mommy, his mommy. This kid can sure make me smile like no other.
Now, having a kid has left me tired, fuller in size, and gives me less time for me. I should work out but I have no desire lol. I want to be a good mom that doesn't leave my kid with different people every night. I am his mommy and he is my responsibility (I choose not to pond my kid off on others to be selfish). With that said, I have less time for friends, but those that are good friends understand my family comes first. I don't really have the desire to party, club, dress sexy, drink until drunk, and act single. Those days are long gone, they were good while they lasted, but everything has an end. Making these choices has left some friendship of mine in the past too. It is sad, but life is like that. People change, friends change, and life changes. It's hard to swallow, but being a grown-up I have to deal with it. No one ever said growing up is easy. I love those friends who I still call friends. I am blessed by so many of you who are traveling down the same path as me. Those that see life for what it is, beyond money, materials, and looks. Family is what it is all about. LOVE & GOD.

With all this said, I say good-bye to my 20's and hello 30's.....I know who I am and I am okay that this is where I am. I love all God has blessed me with. I am blessed. Life is so precious..........I am enjoying every minute.

I love all seasons, especially when decorations are involved. So happy to be able to celebrate the FALL SEASON 2011 with my lil family. Parker loved the pumpkins at the pumpkin patch, which we careved last night. He for sure tried to eat his "baby" pumpkin. Parker is turning 11 months this week. He is crawling, army style, and now and then regular.  He has 6 teeth, says many things (favorites are "ball" and "dog"), loves solids, and is happy as can be. He is non-stop, and keeps us all busy, while he is awake. He sleeps well at night, and during the day. He is learning, well we are trying to teach him, what "no" means. He is so special and I do not think that Nate and I can love anyone as much as we love Parker. We pray that Parker grows to be a man of God, which I am praying that God gives us wisdom to raise him in His eyes. Basically, we are blessed and happy. Thank you everyone who supports us and loves us.

Looking Back

I often take a look back and remember what my life was like before a husband and before a kid. I remember the nights dancing in L.A.. The nights staying out with the girls and just being young and free. I remember the time of just caring about the then and now. Worrying about nothing. Letting life take a hold of me and just going. I remember going to college and staying up all hours to have fun, study, and just get into trouble. I remember when my life was just about "having fun". But then, I would take a look back and also remember wanting more. The fun I was having was fun, but was just that. Nothing deeper, nothing lasting.
Now my life is WAY different. I for sure do not have the types of night I used to have. I do not get to hang out with friends like I once did, or as often. I now have worries, concerns, and plans. A life that drifted with the wind is now solidly placed. The night times are now spent with my son; feeding, playing, bathing, and rocking to sleep. The sleepless nights are now replaced with a bedtime schedule/routine. The thing is, I look back on what once was, and smile. That season of my life got me to where I am today,and makes me a better person today.
There is nothing better than coming home to my husband and my child. When I forget this, I close my eyes and remember. I remember Parker's smile. I remember Nate's humor. I feel this joy, that God has placed in my heart. I do miss being young and free, at times, but I would not trade my life for anything. All the responsibilities, concerns, worries, and structure could never make me forget that I have been blessed with the most amazing little boy and a husband.
The week nights at home, the weekends with family......this is my life. It's different now, but there is nothing in this world that fills me up more than this. Nothing in the world that gives me this sense of purpose. Nothing that gives me a feeling of being complete, whole.
Life is different, but a good different. Those that where apart of my younger, more carefree days, thank you for the best times. Those that are on the path I am on now, thank you for loving me, all of me (Parker, Nate, and me). Here is to enjoying where life has me.....the best place I can think of.

Count the blessings, pray about the trials!!!

It's been a while since I have blogged. I think the last time I wrote on here was in April. Lets see. Parker is now 9 months. He has been teething these past few month. This last few weeks have really been hard on him, it's so sad. Parker now army crawls, sits-up, eats all sorts of solids, and can say "mama", "dada", "papa", "wow", and "whooo". He is the most adorable little boy I have ever seen, but he is my son. Nate and I just sit and say how wonderful he is. He is seriously a gift from God. He sleeps well, is happy, and eats pretty well. I never imagined that I could love like this. Nate is a good father, he loves Parker. I pray every night with Parker. I pray that he grows to be a man after God's heart, that his wife is an amzing Christian woman (that I am close with), and that I can be the mom Parker needs to guide him spiritually. He is seriously my biggest blessing, and in return I  know I am to raise him with Christ as our center.
Overall, my life has been blessed. I have good days and bad, but that's life right? Life is a blessing, I choose to enjoy it. Below are pictures of Parker at nine months.

 Below are some pictures of Parker from 5 months to 8 months:

Thank you Lord for my blessings!

God Make Me Whole Again!

I have to be honest and say that in this past year of adjusting to being married, being pregnant, and having a baby, that my relationship with the Lord has not been at its strongest. Recently, I had been feeling a void in my life, which I am well aware of what that is. I have recently gone back to what I "know" makes me "whole" again (Jesus). I am go to church, even though it is hard to focus with Parker. I know, we can put him in childcare, but I do not want to. Sure, to you this might sound "crazy", but to me it is not. My child is in "childcare" Monday-Friday, since I work. I love being around Parker so anytime I can get with him I try and get it. Anyhow, I go to church but that isn't enough. Yeah I pray, but I realized my prayer life was weak. I have been, as of this week, praying more, reading inspirational quotes & Bible verses, as well as reading devotionals. I feel, this week, so "joyful". I have the joy in my heart that only a person that has a personal relationship with the Lord would or could "understand". I am feeling good. I feel like I am becoming ME again. Next week I turn the big 3-0! I want to make sure that my 30's are good years. I want to be the mommy, wife, daughter, sister, and friend that I know I could be. The only way I can be all that I am truly is by focusing on God. So, I am telling myself SHAPE UP and FOCUS. When I keep my focus on above my life has more joy and peace.
Other than that, life is going well. Parker is amazing. He is rolling over, blowing raspberries, and holding onto everything. He is a good kid. He sleeps about 10-11 hours a night. He loves sleep, which is a HUGE blessing for this working mommy. He is such a happy baby. He is my greatest gift. He loves mommy so much. He has my heart. Nate and I feel so blessed to be his parents. We really want to be the parents God wants us to be for Parker. One of my favorite things to do with Parker is to breastfeed him. There is something about it that melts my heart. I am so thankful that I am able to do this with Parker. Parker's favorite thing is taking baths. He loves water, so far, and loves to play that games we do during bath time. He also likes it when you talk with him and sing. He likes people and loves attention. The problem is that he does not know how to be alone. I blame his cousin Reese. =) She loves him and can't get enough of him. She is always talking to him. She is wonderful with him. She will make an excellent mommy one day. I am so thankful for my family, who helps in raising my child. I have an amazing mom who cares for my child while I am a work. I have no idea where I would be without her help and support. My parents have been there for Nate and I. My parents are my big blessing. I do not know what I would do without them. Nate, Parker, and I are so lucky to have the support they give us on a daily bases. HAPPY EARTH DAY & EASTER!
Below is a glimpse of my world!

Perspective

I recently have been handed a whole bunch of lemons in my life. I know they say to make lemonade out of lemons, but what if I do not want to? What if I do not have the resources to make lemonade? Of course this is all figuratively speaking. In light of things, I am adult to know that other people have bigger problems that what seems to be my gigantic problems.
Recently, Nate sent me an email that talked about "perspectives". Life is about perspectives. This got me thinking; how do I want to view life, situations, and all that entails? Not only perspectives, but attitude. My attitude affects my life. How I act towards something changes my perspective.
I want to be a positive person. I want to be able to step outside my situation and see beyond the situation and it's self and myself. I want to do this for myself, my marriage, and for Parker's sake. I want to be able to do this so I can teach my son the "right" perspective. I want my son to be a positive person. Do not get me wrong, there is no one in this world who has this down and/or who doesn't struggle with having the right perspective from time to time.
How do I remind myself of this? Should I get a tattoo that says "Perspective" ? All I know is I need something to remind me of this. I need help in remembering to be positive. Wish I didn't need help in this area, but hey I am human.
Well, here is to a new perspective.